The word manifestation is controversial. For some, it elicits feelings of excitement. The notion of controlling one’s journey and life outcomes through making minor tweaks to thought patterns is exciting.
Regular manifesters may frequently navigate life with a positive mindset.
For others, however, the word manifestation could evoke eye rolls and incredulity. How can manifestation be accurate when there are so many horrible things in the world? Is manifestation victim blaming?
These thoughts are fair and logical. What’s important to remember,, though is that manifestation relates to one’s daily and overall life has much more to do with the stories we tell about ourselves than trying to prevent collective or world issues with the mind.
So, why does it seem that some people always win? No matter what challenges they face in life, they always seem to come out on top?
The Story influences your Life’s Outcomes You are Telling
The book Brain Mechanics teaches that our emotions are primarily created not by our situations but rather by the story we tell ourselves about our problems.
It should be understood that our external world is merely a mirror of our inner world. Once we control our inner thoughts and feelings, we can better manifest the external outcomes we desire. But how does this work?
Manifestation Does Not Always Yield Positive Outcomes…
Joey and Anna had been happily married for over ten years when things headed south. Anna had received a huge promotion that required a cross country move. Thrilled, she threw herself into work. Joey, as a result of her rise, Joey found himself able to retire. Left alone for many hours of the day, he became consumed in the looping thoughts of his mind.
His greatest fear had always been abandonment, and he had secretly always feared that Anna would leave him for someone else.
Before the move, when he had been busy and fulfilled with work, he thought about it rarely. Now he thought about it daily. Soon, her every word and action began to strike him as a red flag. The story he repeatedly told himself was that her interest in him was fading.
Frustrated and fearful, he began acting out, which led to Anna working even more. He felt even more alone and abandoned. One day, he filed for divorce. She was shocked and couldn’t talk him out of it.
Years later, they talked.
“Why did you leave,” she asked? We never really fought, we had some communication issues but we could have easily worked those out with help.
“You despised me,” he said, looking at her in surprise, not understanding how she could miss the obvious reason.
“What?” She said confused. “I loved you. I was frustrated by some of your behavior toward the end but I never despised you as a person?” He didn’t believe her.
Unproductive Stories Can Easily Take Over Your Mind
Joey and Anna’s story is a classic example of what happens when we let an unproductive story take over our minds. In Joey’s state of too much free time, he perceived everything far more dramatically than it was.
When she worked late he told himself she didn’t want to spend time with him.
When she rushed out to work in the mornings and forgot to kiss him goodbye he told himself she no longer found him attractive.
When her text replies to him during the day were curt, he told himself she no longer cared about him. Over time, he crafted a story to himself that she despised him.
The Story You Tell Shapes Your Perception–for Better and for Worse
This story crushed his self-confidence and made him feel scared, alone, and angry. With that story in hand, his brain quickly reverted to the times as a child he felt neglected and abandoned by his mother. It was a familiar place, painful but comfortable.
Control Your Thoughts or They May Control You–and Destroy Your Relationships
Joey’s self-created position of powerlessness also gave him the secondary gain of having no accountability or responsibility to change his own behavior and alter the situation.
He chalked up the situation to her despising him, leave because he saw himself as powerless, and use his story to try to go gain the sympathy and love of other women.
Anna’s perspective, however, was far different. She loved Joey. She felt exactly the same way about him she always had.
When she worked late it was because she was determined to not fail at the job that caused them to have to move cross country. She didn’t want to let her or Joey down, especially since she was now the breadwinner.
When she rushed out to work in the mornings, it was because her mind was spinning with ideas. High on adrenaline, she knew if she paused to cuddle in bed, she’d lose her motivation and the mindset she needed to conquer the day.
When she curtly replied to texts, she was simply trying to be responsive while juggling her new job duties.
What if Joey had told himself a different story? What if his story had been, “Wow, I’m so lucky. I have a hardworking smart wife and because of her I can practically retire already. That means I can start following my passions and dreams. I can’t wait to work on these ideas and share them with her! We’re going to have an amazing future with her!”
When they saw each other at the end of the day, Joey would have been interesting and exciting to be around. He would have been thrilled to see her and she would have responded similarly.
Thoughts Do Become Things–Begin Monitoring Yours
Instead, because of his story, he acted fearful and resentful around her, which began causing Anna to doubt him and their relationship.
The cycle snowballed, causing them both to lose trust and confidence in each other.
Had Joey controlled his thoughts and changed his inner mind narrative, the end result of him and Anna would have undoubtedly been completely different.
Our thoughts do become things. Our outer world is, yes, to a large degree, created by our inner world. This is what it means to manifest.
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